some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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