ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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