New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
