But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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