I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize