So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
