weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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