Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
