whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
