just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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