Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
