covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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