EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
