he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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