haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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