i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
