So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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