I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
