Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
