"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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