We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
