We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Randomize
