I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
