he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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