We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
