lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
