The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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