Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
