MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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