i think i have herpe
just one?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
