i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
