Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
