We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
