I think my fart just growled at me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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