so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
