Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize