we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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