I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
