found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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