this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize