he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
