My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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