there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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