Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
