I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
you had me at cake vodka
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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