no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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