dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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