I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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