We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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