'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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