Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Duck Duck Cougar?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize