Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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