You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I love you. Go after that dick
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
