Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
