That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize