I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
