And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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