I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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