It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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