I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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