And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize