i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
