I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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