This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
