So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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