you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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