So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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