We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
