Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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