**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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