hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
