do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
